Monday, January 08, 2007

She lost her mind when he talked to her about the movie they had just seen, or something else which she didn't care to remember. Indeed, he had noticed that she wasn't paying much attention during the movie, as he saw her, instead of looking at the movie screen, looking at the front seats, comtemplating. He felt like he was talking to a wall. He was rather upset, or even irritated by her coldness and indifference. But each time, when he asked her out, she seldom refused.
Despite the endless effort that she had spent on teaching herself to be optimistic, nothing had changed. "There are many tragedies in our world today, how can people like myself complain about life?", sometimes she tried to cheer up herself. It seemed to her that the only legitmate solution for all her discontent was to swallow her pain like precious juice, and to thank god for everything she owed. However, she was a faithful atheist. God was not the only one whom she did not believe. She had trusted no one since a very young age. She could not remember how and from when she began to take up the habit of "nonselective disbelief". She wanted to have real friends, but she could never open her heart to anyone, fearing to be hurt. She knew there was something wrong about herself. Deep at the bottom of her heart, she sensed that she was the one, not the imaginary enemies, who prevented her from pursuing happiness. It was the self-inflicted pain which made her suffered. She wondered if somewhere in the world she could find the remedy for this soul-sucking disease.

"Hey, com' on! Look at you! Lysey, you look drier than a cactus and older than my gramma. Go, come with me, we're going to get some new clothes today. " Mel swung her body when she talked.

"That's very kind of you, but I don't need any new clothes."

"Hey, today's the last day of the boxing week sale..."

"Mel, I need some rest. I couldn't sleep last night."

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